How to Have More Sex in Marriage

Sex is a way for people to connect physically and mentally, giving pleasure and well-being to those engaged. When people get married, intimacy is usually at its apex, with a constant desire to dive under the sheets or anywhere else convenient.

Sex is life-affirming as it is necessary to produce offspring and experience arousal and sexual release. Unfortunately, as married couples put in the years, sex often is placed on the back burner.

Is your marriage going through a dry spell with no end in sight? It doesn’t have to be. Let’s review some strategies for having more sex in your marriage.

Contributing Factors

There are reasons why you are not sexually connecting, and it usually falls into one of these:


With spouses working and caring for kids, physical burnout is a reality. The work week can be a non-stop ride, and recovery is for your days off. You may not want to put in the effort of a heated love-making session.


Unresolved issues between a couple don’t exactly prime the pump of intimacy. If you are harbouring ill will against your partner, you won’t have any desire for sex.

No Time

This accompanies fatigue in that busy lives eat up most of the day. Between work, household duties, shuttling kids around, shopping and sleep, there is no time to get physical.

Same Old Routine

Sex feels good, but like eating chocolate cake daily, it loses its lustre and becomes robotic. You may just engage in the same sexual routine to get your rocks off, but it gets boring and mundane.

What can we do to fix it? I’m glad you asked.

Try Something New

It gets stale and undesirable if you always do the same positions in order. If you want more sex, you must spice up and try something new. Here are a few ideas:

Role Playing

This can be uncomfortable initially, but many people enjoy playing a sexual role. You may find it increases your pleasure level, and you’ll look forward to the next time.

Experiment with Positions

This is another way to enhance excitement and pleasure. Look to the internet for positions you haven’t tried before, and have some fun while experimenting. Always remember to respect each others’ boundaries, though.

Erotic Literature & Movies

Reading or watching sexual content can be a huge turn-on for couples. It gets the juices flowing, and you can play along during your read-and-watch.

Sex Toys

For every kind of erotic zone and fantasy, there is a toy to help you out. You can try them solo to get you in the mood before coming together or use them together for sexual aid. You will find that orgasms are much bigger with sex toys, and they are fun to play with and see what you enjoy. Check out a sex toy store and browse its collection.

Sex Schedule

Most people follow a list of duties during the day, which is how important things get done. These include:

  • Working
  • Making meals
  • Sleeping
  • Cleaning

If you want to increase the amount of sex you are having, put it in the schedule. Dedicate two evenings to sex and be accountable. This is usually tv time anyway, and you can skip a few episodes of your favourite shows for intimacy without too much effort.

Put the kids to bed and then take showers first, so you feel fresh and ready for some fun. Then follow the schedule and make love that night. You will find that you will start looking forward to these nights and maybe even add some more encounters.

Stay Intimate

Sex is often seen as intercourse, but there is so much more to it than that. Being intimate can happen all day through touching, kissing and hugging, and it puts both parties in a connected space where it’s easier to lead to a sexual encounter.

When you are together, flirt. This keeps the spark alive all day. Send racy texts back and forth and get steamed up. Hold hands and caress each other while on the couch. This type of touching can be electric.

Have a Shirts Only night when the kids are away. Don’t be so concerned with getting a home run because staying on the bases with foreplay can be just as rewarding if it leads to intercourse, then great; if not, then great too. This physical affection shows that you want to have a connection, and it strengthens the relationship.

Having more sex in a marriage should be your goal. It is a special union that allows you to give all of yourself and is the ultimate expression of love. Use these strategies to increase your marital sex life and see how much stress is lifted in your relationship.

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